Ever since Simon Sinek’s Ted Talk “Start with Why”, the world of artists and entrepreneurs have known that knowing your WHY is hugely important to building something meaningful and lasting. That can be a huge business, the culture in your home, a novel, anything.
Why is it is important to know your deep emotional why? Because anything worth accomplishing will bring up fear, and that deep emotional why will bring your past the fear. You might think you’re not afraid, but deep down, there are sneaky little fears telling you to watch Netflix instead of work on project. Fear of getting burnt out, and fear of being too busy are two I encounter amongst the womxn I mentor. And myself!
Did you know that the emotional/subconscious brain has 98% control over our actions, and our logical mind has 2% control? This is why forcing ourselves to do something because we think we should rarely lasts long. Logic is often our mind trying to justify something our emotional self wants to do.
Personally, when I’m not connected to my why, I feel cranky and tired. When I am connected to it, I am full of passion and creativity. It seems like I can bend time because I am in such a flow.
So, how do you discover your why? Get into an honest, open state, and ask yourself four questions.
The honest open state is SO important because the why will come from your emotions. Society often tells us to cover up our emotions, so this may feel uncomfortable. To get into an honest open state, put some lavender on your throat, put your hand on your heart, and take three deep breaths.
1. Why am I (building my doTERRA business / writing a book / whatever it is). Answer with: Because I…
Example: Because I want to become financially free. Because I want prove to myself I can do it.
This answer is from your mind. We are going to go deeper.
2. Why is this important to me? Answer with: Because I think…
We are starting to drill down into our thoughts.
Example doTERRA: Because I think that if I am finally free, I will be able to relax more, be kinder, be more generous, help others, have more adventures, and overall feel happier.
Example book: Because I think that the process of writing and publishing a book will be an amazing journey that will help me grow, meet amazing people, stretch my creativity and more.
3. Why do I feel passionately about this? Because I believe…
This is where people start to resist. Breath. It’s just emotions which are energy in motion.
Example doTERRA: Because I believe that we all have so much creativity and kindness inside of us, but because of not feeling free or supported, it is hard to access. I believe setting people free is a way to uplift the world’s consciousness. I believe I can do this for hundreds of thousands of people.
Example book: I believe that ideas have been visiting me, and I am a conduit to share my story that will help myself heal and live in joy, and will also set other people free to share their story and live in joy.
Before we go into number 4, look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Know that we need to take care of our foundational needs before going to self-actualization. Many people feel guilty about wanting to take care of themselves before changing the world.
4. How did I come to know these things? What shaped them? It was probably some measure of darkness that helped you see the light. Some difficulty made you want to create a better life for yourself. It came from experience.
Answer with: Because I know what X feels like:
doTERRA example: Because I know what it feels like to feel completely alone, like no one has my back. And I know what it feels like to feel supported (financially, and by a community) and I want that feeling for everyone on the planet.
Book example: Because I know what it’s like to feel completely uninspired creatively, and I don’t want to feel that way. I want to be in a state of creation as often as I can. I also remember that first time I wrote a personal development/ memoir book that really helped me feel validated and inspired, and I want to create that for others.
5. Go back and look at what you wrote in number 4, and circle the words with an emotional charge. Words that feel powerful. For me, it’s: supported, community, alone, everyone on the planet
Your why is directly related to your greatest unmet need.
Now, looking at number 4, re-write your why.
doTERRA: I am building a doTERRA business, because I want everyone on the planet to have the feeling of being supported by wealth and by a loving community.
Book: I am writing a book because I want to live a creative life, and I want to leave a legacy that helps people feel validated and inspired.